The last ten days of driving 4,000 miles across the Great Plains with a 12-year-old was powerful, humorous, trying, horrible, mystifying, and profound. I had never envisioned a teenager tagging along for the Millicent van trip, until my college roommate’s daughter, Hazel, asked if she could join for a portion of it. It didn’t seem right to immediately dismiss the idea, so I promised her I would sleep on it and let her know the next morning.
“Could this really work?”, I asked myself as I fell asleep in the attic guest room. I’ve never had kids. I love being an aunt and mentor but living day-in and day-out with a teen is a totally ‘different’ experience, as most middle-aged people already know.
The next morning, I spread my beloved Rand McNally paper map across the dining room table and showed Hazel the macro vision of the Millicent trip to all 50 states. Her eyes widened as she traced her finger along the blue highway lines and asked dozens of questions about how the states and roads are connected. She confessed that she had never used a map.
I paused and looked her full in the face, “Let’s do it”, I said.
Hazel screamed with delight and immediately ran upstairs to begin packing. We launched the very next morning with two venti Starbucks coffees in hand and a sparkle in our eyes.
To put it succinctly, this twelve-year-old has had more fringe “real-world” life experiences in her brief walk on this earth, than most of us have had in multiple decades. She and her two brothers were adopted as children just a few years ago by my college roommate. In my eyes, my cherished, college friend is a HERO!
As the miles clicked beneath the van tires, the eager mind of the teen asked me thoughtful questions such as,
“What kind of underwear do Monks wear?
Do clouds have feelings?
Why are your eyes so puffy?
Do you always dress so campy?
Have you ever vaped or smoked pot?
When should teenagers start having sex?
Why am I the only person with my color of skin in North Dakota?”
We both ventured into new territory. I introduced her to opera, and she played the latest rap music for me. I tasted sour patch kids candy and she ate a vegan sandwich. Importantly, she found out that trying new things does not kill you and can often lead to new delight. (Except the rap music and candy did about kill me!)
Interestingly, my recent SCUBA diving experience really helped me deal with the inevitable, messy teenage feelings. There are moments on a trip like this that feel very out of control and vulnerable, much like I felt 60-feet below the surface of the water facing a shark.
Now with a 12-year-old (nearly 13), when her feelings grew panicked and ragged, I would slowly breathe in and out. Much like my Zen dive instructor, I directed the motion of my breath with my hand and guided Hazel to follow the undulating, gentle, and relaxed rhythm. We were learning together.
The slow breathing helped, and we continued to drive north and west, making progress on our journey – Hazel, Millicent, and me.
After visiting six states from Indiana to North Dakota, we stumbled upon a thousand-acre buffalo ranch in South Dakota. The owners offered to take Hazel horseback riding and, though afraid, she jumped at the chance. It was a powerful experience for me to watch every muscle in her body relax as she seemed to become one with the horse and literally ride into the sunset. It was meditative to gaze at the slow lope of the horses as they melded into the horizon with the orange hues in the sky.
The past five months of van travel flashed before my eyes: 32 states, nearly 13 thousand miles, 3 dozen paintings, countless enriched friendships, and many stories yet to come about the moments of…
...surviving and thriving while pursuing a dream.
My heart is settled.
I feel pulled to return to Atlanta. After all, I will be teaching full-time at Georgia State University in the Marketing department of the Business school. I have taught part-time there during the past six semesters, but this time I will ramp up to full-time and will have direct impact with 225 students this fall.
I am excited beyond words and know that teaching is my calling for the next chapter.
During the next twelve months I will continue painting, writing, and finishing the last 18 states of the Millicent van tour, plus return to some of the previous states to dig deeper…with or without a 12-year-old.
This is not the last blog post…there are many stories yet to come!
GiddyUp,
Christiane Palpant aka Prof CP
